Megan Fox Is A Home Wreaker,Banned,Stuck Up,An Idiot,A Prostitute,A Selfish Bisexual And Yes Most Like Me..Hate The Cunting Whore

I always thought Zac Efron was gay. Then he met Megan Fox. I can see how that could change his mind. Showbiz Spy reports: Hudgens, 20, was recently reported to have barred Efron from speaking with Fox after the pair had a dinner date in July. “Vanessa feels humiliated by what she perceives to be Zac cheating on her,” a source told the National Enquirer. “It stings so much more because Megan is one of the hottest women on the planet. “Vanessa demanded Zac cut all ties with Megan and swore if he didn’t, they were finished.” While sources close to Vanessa admit she’s not happy about Zac’s relationship with Megan, they insist she isn’t trying to keep the pair apart. “The stories that she’s banned Zac from seeing Megan are nonsense,” a source said. “She’s expressed concerns to Zac and I think she feels Megan is only flirting with Zac to annoy her. “We’ve told her there’s nothing to worry about. We think Megan fancies Zac but isn’t going to steal him.” My dad is a sniper and my mom is the Vice President of a bank, so who the hell knows what kind of person love will lead into your heart. And if love happens to lead your dick into Megan Fox's ass, then hey man, go for it. Don't get me wrong, Vanessa Hudgens is a hot little piece, but let's be honest here, Megan Fox could be fused to airplane wreckage and I'd still have to use those condoms that numb your penis.-AND IN ANOTHER REPORT-I'm totally self-important and think everything revolves around me, so this is probably my fault. You're welcome. The New York Daily News reports: It may seem unlikely, but the men of America are sick of Megan Fox. A dozen male-focused Web sites including AOL's men's lifestyle/humor site Asylum.com — as well as Ask Men, Just a Guy Thing and Double Viking — have sanctioned Aug. 4 as a Megan Fox media blackout day. Why the diss? All the editors feel the starlet has become a bit too overexposed — and they're not just talking about her fashion sense. Fox has appeared on the covers of Esquire, Empire, Maxim, GQ UK, Entertainment Weekly and Elle this year alone, plus she did heavy press for her role as Mikaela Banes in "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen." "You can have too much of a good thing," says AskMen.com's Editor-in-Chief James Bassil, who tells us, "We're joining in the media blackout and giving our readers a one-day reprieve from the woman we've been drowning in all summer." My totally normal, not weird at all obsession with Megan Fox is fully documented on this site, so I won't tell you how the very mention of a one day ban on Megan Fox shakes me to my very core. Some may call it a phase (some of you may remember my Jessica Biel, Keira Knightley, and Keeley Hazell deals), but the fact that she's dating the wigger from 90210 gives me hope. I mean, he's Brian Austin Green. At best, he should be on television in a gorilla costume, standing next to a giant inflatable Uncle Sam telling me how I could get 0% financing on this new Ford F-150. He'll even take my trade no matter how much I owe! -AND ANOTHER- I don't have a homemade Bobba Fett costume, so I didn't attend Comic Con this year, but Megan Fox did. And Megan Fox in a room full of guys who jack off to anime can't be good. News.com.au reports: This year, Johansson was the headliner, promoting Iron Man 2, but it was an appearance by Megan Fox which had the geeks talking after one fan approached the star during a Q&A to promote her new supernatural western Jonah Hex. "My question is for Megan," the man said. "I have a Sony HVR (video camera). It's not a true HD, but it gives a pretty good image. Anyway, my question is: I just graduated film school and I'm trying to help my career. I was wondering if you'd be interested in some kind of, like, celebrity sex tape?" With that, a couple of security guards grabbed the fella and took him to an undisclosed location. "Dude, I can't wait to see what you look like in 30 minutes," Fox's co-star, Josh Brolin, quipped as the man was dragged away. Maybe it was because she was surrounded by dudes with phaser gun keychains and their names written in their underwear or whatever, but she wasn't like this when we made our sex tape. Of course she was a little timid at first because I had to use a shoehorn to get my penis in her ass, but after a few minutes she started to relax. Her lawyer claims that's when the alleged ether kicked in. But what does he know of love? -AND ANOTHER-Although Transformers launched her into superstardom, Megan Fox is channeling her inner Katherine Heigl and is taking every opportunity to piss all over it. Us Magazine reports: Fox told Entertainment Weekly: "I mean, I can't shit on this movie because it did give me a career and open all these doors for me. But I don't want to blow smoke up people's ass. People are well aware that this is not a movie about acting." And although it's not as big as mine, director Michael Bay pulled his dick out and slapped her with it: "Well, that's Megan Fox for you," Bay tell the Wall Street Journal. "She says some very ridiculous things because she's 23 years old and she still has a lot of growing to do. "You roll your eyes when you see statements like that and think, 'Okay Megan, you can do whatever you want. I got it,'" he goes on..."Nobody in the world knew about Megan Fox until I found her and put her in Transformers," he says. "I like to think that I've had some luck in building actors' careers with my films." As much as I like to explore her anus like Ponce de León, I've slowly come to the realization that this chick says a lot of dumb shit and she's never gonna leave Brian Austin Green no matter what she tells me. The imaginary sex is great, but quite frankly, so is a delmonico steak. The only difference is, I've actually tasted a delmonico steak. So, Megan, you know that number you had blocked and reported to the police? Yeah, it's never calling you again! Haha, suck on that Megan! -AND ANOTHER- At this point, other than trying to get her half naked on their cover, I'm not sure why magazines want to interview Megan Fox. Because, well, chances are good that she wont make it five minutes without saying something really stupid. Congrats, British GQ! Showbiz Spy reports: “When you think about it, we actors are kind of prostitutes,” Fox tells the July issue of British GQ. “We get paid to feign attraction and love. Other people are paying to watch us kissing someone, touching someone, doing things people in a normal monogamous relationship would never do with anyone who’s not their partner. It’s really kind of gross. “I have this sort of promiscuous image. People assume I’m really overtly sexually aggressive and that I’m this wild child. And I’m not like that at all. “I would rather have an image that is wild and promiscuous than to go out of my way to be proper all the time.“There are some guys who think I’m going to be this little cupcake who’s going to bat my eyes and be like a receptacle for them. I shut them down immediately.” Ugh. Megan, I love you, I do, but baby, pretty please, shut the hell up. You want to know why people think you're "overtly sexually aggressive"? Let's see, hmm, maybe this? Or this? No wait, maybe this. Look, you can't throw me an idea then say I have the wrong idea. Magazines aren't claiming you're Andrei Chikatilo or Jack The Ripper, you're saying this stuff. I think you just need to take a long look in the mirror and think about what image you want to portray. Now turn around. Then squeeze your nipples for me. Oooh yeah, baby. You like that?-AND ANOTHER- In the new issue of Esquire, Megan Fox says that she likes to have sex with girls. When asked for comment, I said, "Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh God, oh God, oh, ooohhhhh.....ah, ah, aaaaaahhhh, ah, mmmmm, ah, uuhhmm...whew. Who's hungry?" The Sun UK says: The Transformers actress says she’s a bisexual woman who won’t sleep with other bisexual women. She told Esquire: “I think people are born bisexual and they make subconscious choices based on the pressures of society. "I have no question in my mind about being bisexual. But I'm also a hypocrite. I would never date a girl who was bisexual, because that means they also sleep with men, and men are so dirty that I'd never want to sleep with a girl who had slept with a man." There's only two women in the world that can make my penis shoot like a sprinkler, and yes, Megan Fox is one of them. And this does nothing but help her case. Dear God. I'm not even halfway joking when I say I'd fuck this bitch in the ass so fast California could use me to start a controlled burn. -AND FINALLY- In an open letter to Michael Bay's official website, three anonymous crew members who worked on both Transformer movies rip Megan Fox a new ass. Not the one I want to rip. It has been removed from Bay's official site, but the always fantastic ONTD has a copy of it here. In case that gets pulled, I pasted the whole thing. Yay, me!! Nelson, This is an open letter to all Michael Bay fans. We are three crew members that have worked with Michael for the past ten years. Last week we read the terrible article with inflammatory, truly trashing quotes by the Ms. Fox about Michael Bay. This letter is to set a few things straight. Yes, Megan has great eyes, a tight stomach we spray with glycerin, and an awful silly Marilyn Monroe tattoo plastered on her arm that we cover up to keep the moms happy. Michael found this shy, inexperienced girl, plucked her out of total obscurity thus giving her the biggest shot of any young actresses' life. He told everyone around to just trust him on his choice. He granted her the starring role in Transformers, a franchise that forever changed her life; she became one of the most googled and oogled women on earth. She was famous! She was the next Angelina Jolie, hooray! Wait a minute, two of us worked with Angelina – second thought – she’s no Angelina. You see, Angelia is a professional. We know this quite intimately because we’ve had the tedious experience of working with the dumb-as-a-rock Megan Fox on both Transformers movies. We've spent a total of 12 months on set making these two movies. We are in different departments; we can’t give our names because sadly doing so in Hollywood could lead to being banished from future Paramount work. One of us touches Megan’s panties, the other has the often shitty job of pulling Ms. Sour pants out of her trailer, while another is near the Panaflex camera that helps to memorialize the valley girl on film. Megan has the press fooled. When we read those magazines we wish we worked with that woman. Megan knows how to work her smile for the press. Those writers should try being on set for two movies, sadly she never smiles. The cast, crew and director make Transformers a really fun and energetic set. We’ve traveled around the world together, so we have never understood why Megan was always such – the grump of the set? When facing the press, Megan is the queen of talking trailer trash and posing like a porn star. And yes we’ve had the unbearable time of watching her try to act on set, and yes, it's very cringe-able. So maybe, being a porn star in the future might be a good career option. But make-up beware, she has a paragraph tattooed to her backside (probably due her rotten childhood) easily another 45 minutes in the chair! So when the three of us caught wind of Ms Fox, pontificating yet again in some publication (like she actually has something interesting to say) blabbing her trash mouth about a director whom we three have grown to really like. She compared working with Michael, to “working with Hitler”. We actually don’t think she knows who Hitler is by the way. But we wondered how she doesn’t realize what a disgusting, fully uneducated comment this was? Well, here let’s get some facts straight. Say what you want about Michael – yes at times he can be hard, but he's also fun, and he challenges everyone for a reason – he simply wants people to bring their ‘A’ game. He comes very prepared, knows exactly what he wants, involves the crew and expects everyone to follow through with his or her best, and that includes the actors. He’s one of the hardest working directors out there. He gets the best from his crews, many of whom have worked with him for 15 years. And yes, he’s loyal, one of the few directors we’ve encountered who lowered his fee by millions to keep Transformers in the United States and California, so he could work with his own crew. Megan says that Transformers was an unsafe set? Come on Megan, we know it is a bit more strenuous then the playground at the trailer park, but you don’t insult one of the very best stunt and physical effects teams in the business! Not one person got hurt! And who is the real Megan Fox? She is very different than the academy nominee and winning actors we’ve all worked around. She’s as about ungracious a person as you can ever fathom. She shows little interest in the crew members around her. We work to make her look good in every way, but she's absolutely never appreciative of anyone’s hard work. Never a thank you. All the crewmembers have stopped saying hi to Ms. Princess because she never says hello back. It gets tiring. Many think she just really hates the process of being an actress. Megan has been late to the sets many times. She goes through the motions that make her exude this sense of misery. We’ve heard the A.D’s piped over the radio that Megan won’t walk from her trailer until John Turturro walks first! John’s done seventy-five movies and she’s made two! Never expect Megan to attend any of the 15 or so crew parties like all the other actors have. And then there's the classless night she blew off The Royal Prince of Jordan who made a special dinner for all the actors. She doesn’t know that one of the grips daughters wanted to visit their daddy’s work to meet Megan, but he wouldn’t let them come because he told them “she is not nice." The press certainly doesn’t know her most famous line. On our first day in Egypt, the Egyptian government wouldn’t let us shoot because of a permit problem as the actors got ready in make up at the Four Seasons Hotel. Michael tried to make the best of it; he wanted to take the cast and crew on a private tour of the famous Giza pyramids. God hold us witness, Megan said, "I can’t believe Michael is fucking forcing us to go to the fucking pyramids!" I guess this is the “Hitler guy” she is referring to. So this is the Megan Fox you don’t get to see. Maybe she will learn, but we figure if she can sling insults, then she can take them too. Megan really is a thankless, classless, graceless, and shall we say unfriendly bitch. It's sad how fame can twist people, and even sadder that young girls look up to her. If only they knew who they're really looking up to. But ‘Fame’ is fleeting. We, being behind the scenes, seen em’ come and go. Hopefully Michael will have Megatron squish her character in the first ten minutes of Transformers 3. We can tell you that will make the crew happy! -Loyal Transformers Crew It's hard to believe that Michael Bay has fans, but of course I believe every word of this letter. Why? Because Megan Fox is hot and insane. But here's the thing: Todd = don't give a fuck. So what if she's a hot Katherine Heigl? I'm not trying to give her a Good Citizenship badge. I just want people to see the mark of Zorro I made when they run a blacklight over her face. Megan Fox at a Jennifer's Body press conference: